Ned's, Tahlequah
Looking at online reviews of
Ned's Bar (possibly named after Oklahoma Cherokee outlaw
Ned Christie) in
Tahlequah, Oklahoma, I came across a review from the
New Zealand Herald (because, of course,
New Zealand) that people feel
"like an ashtray when they leave, yes this is typical of a bar BUT it is
BAD in there," so we had a bit of trepidation heading out, not wanting to
offend our hosts with our stinkiness upon our return, but before we entered Ned's
we saw a "No Smoking" sign on the door.
Shortly before leaving at the end of
the evening, we went to the enclosed back patio and talked with a couple of
guys who had stepped out to smoke. They both seemed to think the change in
smoking policy was a great idea. It kept them from smoking as much and stinking
so much when they left. The change in policy wasn't caused by a change in law
or ordinances, but rather what the owners perceived as a change in attitudes.
The influence of students from the local university may well have played a part
in the decision.
That smoking thing was the one big
negative we saw in the reviews. Otherwise, there was much praise for the place
which was echoed when we talked to people in the bar. I myself appreciated that
there were a number of pool tables, even though I didn't get a chance to play.
There is a little neon on the outside of the building, but more inside,
providing much of the light.
There were some drink specials
listed on the wall, chiefly beers and shots. One of the bartenders, Swain,
offered us a menu. Mindy choose a
Tom Collins without the cherry because she
remembered liking them when she was younger (she doesn't particularly like the
cherry). I went with a
Gilligan's Island because those scrappy castaways never
gave up in spite of their many setbacks.
We sat next to Armando, who had been
chatting with Swain. He said he'd been coming to Ned's since he first came to
Tahlequah back in 1995. Not surprisingly, when I asked him what made for a good
bar, he said "Tradition." Armando works in hospice and has found that
after a tough day, this was a soothing place to be. He likes the atmosphere and
the music "when it's playing." (No music was playing just then. It
did kick in later. One of the selections was "
Take Me to Church"
which, if you don't know, is not actually pro-church.)
Since he's always on call, Armando generally
orders just one shot and one beer. He said he was good friends with people who
came to Ned's, especially the bartenders. It was a place he felt safe, he
didn't need to worry about getting shot or stabbed there.
I asked Armando what makes for a
good church, and he said he looks for a small church where people are sincere
about their faith. He likes good
preaching and he said he "had to feel it". He was raised in a small,
"homegrown" Baptist church. He said his faith had grown through his
work in hospice, and he'd met many people of great faith. But his job did keep
him from going to church many Sundays.
I asked Swain the bartender what he
thought makes for a good bar and he quickly said, "Good customers. This is
the only bar in town so people have to behave themselves. If they don't, they
can be banned, and there's nowhere else to go." The answer to what makes for a good church
wasn't nearly as quick in coming. "Openness for sure," he said.
"I kind of gave up on church years ago. I felt judged. I can be a good
person and make good choices without it."
When we arrived a group of three women were chatting near the middle of
the bar, so we approached them and told them about
our bar and church in every state project. They happily agreed to talk to us.
When we asked what made for a good bar, Kathlene, Cindy and J said, in unison,
"Family!"
Kathlene hadn't been much of a bar
person before, and Ned's was her first bar in Tahlequah. It became her place.
She said that when her daughter turned 21, she wanted to go with her mom to
Ned's.
J said, "When I moved back
here [after 23 years away], this is where I came. Ed's son Gary was still here,
and he recognized me when I came in, and it was great. It's been going on seven
years back. It's a good hometown bar."
As for the church question, Cindy
says she wants a welcoming atmosphere. J agreed. All three women grew up
attending church. Cindy said she grew up in the Methodist Church so she went to
the Methodist Church in town when she moved there. The first week no one spoke
to her. She went back for a few weeks but still wasn't made to feel welcome.
Kathlene grew up going to Indian
churches as her father is full blood Cherokee. In Southern California they went
to the only Indian church they could find -- in the heart of
Compton. When she
moved back to Tahlequah, she felt judged by church people. She was a waitress
and was told by some church folks, as she served them their after-church
dinner, that it was wrong for her to work on a Sunday. She believes there is a
definite divide between church goers and non-church goers in town. She still
attends church with family on the holidays, but quite obviously feels more
comfortable in Ned's than any church in town. We understood that feeling of
comfort, leaving Ned's feeling like we'd made new friends.
Total time spent in bar: 1
hour 45 minutes (arrived at 7:30 pm on Thursday)
Our rough count: 15
Music: jukebox
Snacks: little bags of chips
for sale
Visitor Treatment: Swain the
bartender was very friendly, rounding up a couple of menus for us when Mindy
was uncertain about her order; once we'd started talking with people, others
joined the conversation.
J said, "When I moved back
here [after 23 years away], this is where I came. Ed's son Gary was still here,
and he recognized me when I came in, and it was great. It's been going on seven
years back. It's a good hometown bar." 
