We Walk into a Bar as if we Weren't Blogging

Spokeasy Public House, Fresno, CA

Thursday night we went to the Spokeasy Public House in the Tower District of Fresno, and let’s get this out of the way right now: we didn’t ask our two questions. Usually when we visit a bar we talk to people and ask, “What makes for a good bar?” and “Whether you go or not, what do you think would make for a good church?” This week, we didn’t ask our questions because we really didn’t talk to anyone, which was okay on that night, at that place.

Perceptive viewers that you are, you probably have guessed there’s a cycling theme to this pub. There are model bikes and bicycle paraphernalia decorating the walls, but the devotion to brewing is also readily apparent.

We entered and found the bar was full, so we sat at a table -- which provided a bit of an obstacle for us. Sitting at the bar makes conversation easy. This time, though, while the people at the bar and the bartender all seemed quite friendly, we didn’t want to interrupt their pleasant conversations.

We decided to enjoy the other things the bar had to offer. It’s basically a beer bar, but two different ciders, one from California and one from Washington state, were listed on the board. Neither was Angry Orchard, and the when the bartender suggested a cider with ginger and lemongrass, Mindy thought she’d like to try it (she didn't love it, but was glad to have tried it).

We enjoyed the boards behind the bar. They didn’t just list the beer, but also high scores for video games. The high score for Galaga was from 2015, but there was no Galaga machine in the back room with the other arcade games. Ms. Pacman’s high score was also listed, and that game was in the back room and the machine was on. Mindy had brought quarters for me, since she’d noticed on the website that they had “classic arcade games,” but we didn’t need quarters; free games were loaded into the machine. I can’t promise those free games will be there if and when you go to Spokeasy, but I enjoyed seeing the bow-headed ball Ms. Pacman eat some ghosts and pretzels, though I came nowhere near breaking the high score record.

We also got to watch the Giants play the Reds on the various TVs around the bar. I’d always rather watch the Oakland A’s, but I’m getting a little pleasure from following San Francisco’s miserable season -- and they did lose again Thursday.

When we go to bars, we listen to the conversations around us -- we might hear something that makes a profound point for the philosophical arguments I construct in these posts.

From my notes at Spokeasy:

“She goes to the pub quiz over there, but she’s a theater geek.”

“I have a couple of weeks before the semester is over.”

A woman coming through the door, “I smell the aroma of the beer!”

Nope, these quotes don’t add up to much. No philosophy this week.

We thought there might be a chance to talk to that woman who'd come in the door when she sat down at the next table over, but after the bartender got her beer (he knew in advance what she would want), she put in earbuds. So chatting wasn’t going to happen.

So, no, we didn’t ask anyone what makes for a good bar. But on occasion, people have asked us that question, so here’s our answer this week: Spokeasy had a friendly bartender, people talking and enjoying each other, decent music, baseball on TV, and free video games. That’s pretty much what we’re looking for.

(And thanks to Ruth, who we met at a nearby bar a few weeks ago, for telling us about Spokeasy!)

We walk into a bar in Maine

The Drouthy Bear Pub, Camden, Maine

It was certainly a close thing, but the final measurement was 301 feet. Andrew Stewart converted a bed and breakfast into The Drouthy Bear Pub, and part of the permit process was to ensure the new pub would not be within 300 feet of a church or school. And there was a Congregational Church and a Montessori school very nearby.

An official (I believe from the city of Camden) came with a measuring wheel. The measurements were taken from the front door of one building to another. There was some distance to spare to the church, but there was only an extra foot of legal space from the school. To Andrew’s relief, it was enough.

Andrew grew up in Scotland, so it was natural for him to design Drouthy Bear to pay homage to his native land (even the word “drouthy” is a Scottish term for “thirsty”). The mission statement is to serve comfortable food and drink in a community atmosphere.

We came to this charming place upon the recommendation of an online friend, Kate Braestrup, a writer and chaplain to the Maine Warden Service. We met through a political website, and she agreed to get together near her Maine home. We all ordered dinner from a menu featuring tasty Scottish food (that is not a typo or oxymoron) like pasties and haggis and rarebit.  We talked about many things, but eventually we got around to asking the two questions we ask in every bar.

“Kate, what makes for a good bar?”

“Someplace within walking distance of my house.” This is not just a pipe dream. Kate hopes to have a place near her home where she can walk to get coffee in the morning and beer at night, and she hopes Andrew will be the mastermind behind it. Asked to name something else she likes in a bar, she said she looked for a place that is “not too loud. Sometimes it’s just too loud and you can’t hear people talk.”

Which leads right to her answer to “What makes for a good church?” “At the moment,” she said, “Political diversity; ideological diversity.” She argues that our inability to listen to people with different opinions is going to “make us stupid.” She also appreciates good music and an enthusiastic choir. “I like small. I like knowing people, knowing and being known,” although she said she doesn’t often have the opportunity to go to a big church. She laughingly added, “I appreciate a thought provoking, brilliant sermon” (more often than not, when she’s at church, she’s preaching).

Dinner being done, we left the dining table to waiting customers and went to the bar where Mindy ordered a Crabbie Ginger Beer, and I ordered a Whaleback Farm Cider. I would love to visit a whale farm.

A man standing next to Mindy was waiting for his drinks. When Mindy asked, he said his name was Giancarlo (which we forgot to ask how to spell. Please correct us!). He not only had ready answers for our questions, he put his reasons in numerical order. “1) A bartender who is pleasant and willing to serve. 2) Lighting. As a performing musician I’ve come to see its importance. 3) It should be like a living room.” He had numerical answers for the church question as well. “1) An environment where families can unite. 2) It should not just carry on traditions, but carry on the meanings of the traditions. 3) The clergy in the church should act as friends and tutors.”

We had a good time talking with Liz and Michael, on the other side of us at the bar. Both of them are employed in food services. Liz particularly expressed a desire to see the country. When asked our questions, Michael said he appreciates a bartender who’s happy and greets people. “It’s great when they remember your name. Andrew here makes you feel welcome.”

As for what makes for a good church, Liz spoke of “a sense of community and inclusiveness. I would like a little diversity in mine, too.”

Michael admitted he hadn’t been to church for a long time. Both he and Liz were raised in the Catholic Church, and he felt that if he goes to church, it should be a Catholic Church. LIz goes to all kinds of churches. Michael also said, “When things suck, I pray to God. When things are great, I don’t.”

I spoke to one other couple who were seated at a table near the bar. Andrew and Ellen. Andrew is from Great Britain, and he met Ellen (an American) online. In response our questions, Andrew said the atmosphere of a bar is important, and that’s defined by the owner, the bar person, and the clientele. The availability of good drinks is important, but he also appreciates good food. Andrew grew up going with to pubs in Great Britain with his parents, when all the drinks were beer and occasionally whiskey, but people expect more these days.

Ellen enjoys energy in a bar, when “you don’t hear anyone’s conversation, but you hear everyone’s conversation.” She doesn’t describe herself as much of a drinker, but thinks a good wine can accent a good meal.

As for what makes for a good church, we adapted the question to what makes for a good synagogue. Andrew was raised in the Church of England, but was willing go with Ellen to a Reformed Synagogue. And he found he was graciously accepted. Ellen considers that openness and acceptance are very important quality in a place of worship. “They’ll bless a child of two males or two females.”

As we were leaving, Giancarlo stopped us. He and his father, Craig, were sitting at an outside table. He said they were also from California and were visiting that part of the country, traveling on their motorcycles. He they were looking for a new place to live, perhaps a place that had both good churches and good bars. We didn’t have any solid answers about where the best place to go would be, but we were delighted to come across other people who were looking.

We walk into a bar in Washington

The Three Lions Pub, Redmond

Every family cherishes, I’m sure, their first trip to a bar together. Okay, maybe not. I’m not sure, since it wasn’t a thing in my family. But I’m sure this was our first bar visit as a family, because our youngest is now 21. Just not sure about the family cherishing thing.

Here’s how it happened: Dean and I decided we would rather see Alaska in the summer than in the winter, so we took a break from driving on the East Coast and flew from New York to Seattle to Alaska, back to Seattle overnight, and on to Hawaii. That trek complete, we decided to spend a few days in Redmond, Washington (where our daughter and son-in-law live), with the whole family, including the daughter from Brooklyn and the son from Santa Rosa.

The paragraph above is, frankly, a bit of an excuse. The main reason we walk into bars is to get into conversations with people we meet there, but this week we really just wanted to talk with our family. We hope to make it back to Washington state towards the end of the year, when we expect to talk to locals we don’t already know. But not this week.

Instead, the six of us went to The Three Lions Pub in Redmond. The place has an English theme, so yes, football was on the telly (American translation - “soccer on TV”). Guys were playing darts. (They invited Dean to play. There are weekly games, and one of the guys said, “You meet cool guys here. And some not so cool guys.” One guy raised his hand and said, “I’m one of the not cool guys.”) The drink menu is full of British references from Mary Queen of Scots to Princess Di. (As a result, our drink orders included the Churchill Margarita, Fawlty Towers, London Metro, Princess Diana, Strongbow cider, and Absolutely Fabulous.)

There was also shockingly good food. That was rather disappointing, since tasty food doesn’t seem to go with the British theme, but what can you do? Bret ordered soft pretzels with a good beer cheese dipping sauce, "Eduardo” ordered blueberry cheesecake, and Dean ordered bread pudding, but he didn’t order it in a Cockney accent, so that was a missed opportunity.

Though circumstances were quite different from our average bar visit, nothing could stop us from asking our standard questions. We even said, “What’s your first name, and feel free to lie about it," as we always do (usually, people give us their actual names, as far as we know. This time, the lies were cheerful and blatant.) Next we asked the other two standard questions, “What makes for a good bar?” and “Whether you go or not, what makes for a good church?”

To the second question, daughter “Toni” responded that she liked quiet places that had good music and cheap drinks -- “preferably cheap, cheap, cheap” and “ample seating because I don’t like standing. I get upset when it’s crowded.” She added that a bar should ideally have a patio. She usually gets what she wants, she said, “and if I don’t, I go to a different place.”

Eduardo said he likes “a bartender who knows what he or she is doing, good beers on tap, and a place to sit.” He also likes a quieter place, or at least “not so loud you can’t hear the person next to you.” Both agreed they wanted to be at a bar to spend time with their friends.

Toni added, “Usually the point is to hang out with friends.”

Bret said he’s looking for “decent selection of drinks, and bartenders who know what they’re doing.”

About then Dean and our other daughter, “Tonimorrison” came back from an errand. She said she looked for good food, “not too expensive but well-made drinks,” and she wanted to be able to talk to people -- “presumably the people you came with.”

We turned to the church question.

Eduardo said that the speaker should have intelligent things to say about their topic and “not rambling. I think we can all agree about that.” (I think he’s right.)

Bret said that a good church will have a firm grasp of scripture and a “relatively quick sermon that still has insight. It’s probably a good thing if the church is welcoming; you don’t want to feel like an outsider, but you don’t want to be overly welcomed.”

Tonimorrison said she thought that church is a “place for people who want to know Christ better,” and she looks for “a pastor who sincerely loves God and people,” where she can learn something and give back. When Dean asked if the learning was for old and new church goers alike, she said, “Hopefully, you’re learning from those around you. You should be growing in Christ.”

Toni said, “There should be music, but not too much. It should be easy to sing, with projected lyrics.” (There was a sound of agreement around the table at this point.) She added that the church should be “genuine, not trying to hard to be relevant” and “genuinely focused on God, not on what they think.” She said she also wants “a sermon that’s -- it’s a lot to ask -- inspired. Not offensive, not sexist, not exclusive.” A church should be service oriented, she thinks, and considerate of the various experiences of the people.

So next week we’re back to the East coast, our Dodge Caravan, and complete strangers in bars. But we wish you all from The Three Lions Pub a jolly “Pip, pip” and “Cheerio” and maybe even a “Bob’s your uncle.”

We walk into a bar in New Jersey

Darby Road Pub

Scotch Plains

This wasn’t our first choice bar for the evening. We googled bars in the area and found a place that looked interesting, perhaps more of a nightclub than a bar, but different from places we’d been to before. We got a late start, after 10:00 pm, and we drove to a neighborhood that looked a little seedy. As we were looking for parking, we noticed pedestrians that seemed to be making business transactions with people in vehicles. Mindy said that maybe this wasn’t the place to be, having a preference for being safe. So we turned around and went to a place our hosts had suggested, Darby Road Public House and Restaurant.

At that hour, the restaurant part of Darby’s was in little evidence. A decent sized crowd of people was gathered around the bar for drinks. There were banners all about for various sports franchises. There were at least seven TVs playing, and when we came in I saw soccer and New York baseball on the screens. I was quite pleased when a couple of the TVs went from commercials to the Stanley Cup Finals: Sharks vs. Penguins. I’ve never been a big NHL fan, but a little home town pride (“home Bay Area pride?”) kicks when you’ve been on the road for months.

We seated ourselves at the bar and were soon greeted by Ryan the bartender. He gave us water and the bar menu. Frankly, we were looking for cheap drinks, and the menu supplied some relatively inexpensive options. Mindy ordered Youngs Double Chocolate Stout, and I order Mike’s Hard Lemonade. Things seemed to be slowing down a bit for Ryan, so we asked if we could ask him some questions. (Questions in addition to, “Can we ask you some questions?”)

In response to our first question, “What makes for a good bar?”, Ryan did not answer with the word 90% of bartenders seem to respond with, “bartender.” He said what he thought was important was a combination of atmosphere and service. I asked him to be more specific about atmosphere, and he said a good atmosphere meant “you walk in and forget what you walked in from.” He likes a place that is nice and lively, a friendly meeting place where you can start a conversation. He isn’t a fan of a dingy, dive environment. Still, he prefers a place that is not too loud as a club or a “young person bar.” (“I had four years of that,” he said.)

After thinking about it for a bit longer, he said he’d give an edge to the importance of service over atmosphere. “It can be a really cool place, but if you wait fifteen minutes and no one takes your drink order, you’ll leave.” He said that service needs to be good across the board, not just the bartender but also the wait staff and the barbacks.

But he said that service involved more than just taking orders and making drinks correctly. A bartender has social obligations. He didn’t say it, but he certainly would have considered politely answering our questions as part of his job. “If you’re backed up with a big  crowd, you don’t have time to talk with customers, but if it’s slow, it’s part of the job.” He told a story about training a young woman behind the bar. A group of guys came in, and he asked her to take their order because, he told her, “They’d rather order from you than me.” She came back a little upset because she felt the guys had been hitting on her. Ryan told her that’s part of the job. You don’t give out your phone number or go home with a guest, but flirting can be part of the job. (This reminded me of the time a woman bartender friend of mine was told by her supervisor she should fasten her blouse a couple of buttons higher. She did what she was told, but she knew it would cost her in tips.)

“A person might not be a great bartender as far as drinks go, but if they’re friendly and make you feel welcome, they’ll do okay,” Ryan said.

We then asked Ryan our other question, “What makes for a good church?”

He answered, “I guess I would say, as odd as it sounds, about the same thing as a bar.” (Which didn’t sound odd to us at all.) He’d look for a place that was comfortable, felt safe, and where you can have a good conversation. “It has some parallels.”

We approached a guy who was sitting alone, Jeremy. He seemed friendly enough, but was slow to answer our questions. When his friend, Melissa, returned, we realized this was because English was not his first language. He was from Paraguay. Melissa, a local, was able to help with translation between English and Spanish.

In answer to our bar question, Jeremy said it depends on what a person liked. He liked that there was soccer playing on some of the TVs. He said bars are different in Paraguay than the U.S. because the people are different (“People are more educated here”).  Melissa said she likes a unique environment, and as an example, added, “this place has a soccer thing going.”

As for what makes for a good church, Jeremy said it is a pastor that gives good sermons. Melissa said it is a sense of community.

We then talked to two women at the bar, Andrea and Dari, who were watching the hockey game. They were none too pleased that the Sharks had a 3-2 lead in the third period, but they were still willing to talk. As soon as we mentioned that we are visiting a church and a bar in every state, Andrea advocated for a visit to her church, the Mountainside campus of Liquid Church. She told us that it’s not like a traditional church, and that it’s young and loud. She said it had recently been mentioned on the Today show when the pastor used Star Wars as an introduction to the nativity story. We enjoyed her enthusiasm. Both women let us know they are Christians.

We went on with our what makes for a good bar question. Andrea said, “Personally, I like mine a little divy. I like the people down to earth and the drinks inexpensive.” She went on to explain how her history led to this preference. When she was a little girl, her grandparents in West Virginia would take her and her sister to the local dive bar. The girls were always fussed over by other patrons and given snacks. She said there’s a local wine bar in town this is lovely. But it’s very formal, and it’s not for her. She doesn’t feel at home there.

Dari, on the other hand, likes a bar that is friendly, with an attentive staff that is customer oriented.

For what makes for a good church, Dari said it doesn’t judge people. She said that people in a church shouldn’t judge whether someone goes to heaven based on their religion, because the Bible doesn’t teach that. A good church teaches God’s Word. She also talked about the importance of holding the leadership of a church accountable. People need to build each other up and hold each other up.

Andrea said that her church practices being the hands and feet of Christ and reaches out to people. They recently sent a missions team to Rwanda, and they bought a drill for water wells. She appreciates the slogan of Liquid, that they are their to minister to “The Last, the Lost and the Least.” She said, “Jesus got his hands dirty.”

Dari added that she can’t stand a church that is based on religion rather than faith in Christ. “A dead church worries about religion. I don’t like religion.” She can’t stand people calling each other “Brother” and “Sister” and using religious language. “I detest churchiness. In my ideal church, I want to see tattoos, I want to see piercings, and I want to see people of different colors and races. It should be like heaven.”

Off topic from bar and church, Andrea wanted to talk to us about blogging. She likes to write and thinks someday she’ll have a book in her. For now, she’s considering using her knack for storytelling for a blog, but a fear of failure has been keeping her back. Her husband told her that shouldn’t keep her back. We told her we agreed with him and encouraged her to give it a shot. So all of you in internet-land, keep an eye out for this fine blog of the future. We’re thankful for this blog that let us meet the good people at Darby Road.

We walk into a bar in Delaware

Hutch's Pub

Faithful readers of Dean and Mindy walk into a bar (are there such people?) know there is a running debate here about whether certain places are bars or restaurants (using the words "grill" and "pub" can add to the confusion). This week there's a different debate. Is Hutch's Pub a bar or a pool hall? (I think we can quite certain say Hutch's is not a restaurant, even though it's possible to order food at the bar, because they post kitchen hours which differ from the bar hours. Since there are hours that Hutch's open and food is not served, we can safely rule out restaurant; even though their wings are quite tasty.) But might it be a pool hall?

Besides the pool team schedules, APA (American Poolplayers Association, not the American Psychological Association) schedule, and, of course, the pool tables, there were other billiard decorations to be found. I particularly liked the pool cue with the scope and the "break" mirror.

As nearly as we could figure, almost all the customers there that night were there to play pool. Only one of the two pool tables was in use, though, apparently because only two teams were playing that night. Some nights there are four teams, and on those nights both tables are in use. But there is only league pool play on Wednesday and Thursday nights. So five nights a week, it's clearly not a pool hall. No doubt about it, Hutch's Pub is a bar, in any alcohol-related definition of the word.

We sat at the bar, and Mindy ordered an Angry Orchard cider. I asked for a bourbon and water and let Kaitlyn the bartender make the call on the brand (Jim Beam), and accepted when she offered ice and lemon. Uriah Heep was playing loudly, and a guy in the bar called out, "I seen these guys in concert, man! First freakin' Scorpion and now this! Who's programing the jukebox? I saw them when I was 17 and I was so f...ed up!" (Other oldies heard through the night included John Mellencamp's "Pink Houses" and "Tuff Enuff" by the Fabulous Thunderbirds.)

I talked to a couple seated near us, Jeanie and Walter. Walter is from Switzerland, Jeanie is American; they met online. In the four years they've been together, they've traveled the States extensively and been to Switzerland five times. They don't only shoot pool -- Walter is active in a Swiss Shooting Club in the area.

I asked them our two standard questions, "What makes for a good bar?" and "What makes for a good church?" For a bar, Jeannie said it was a matter of the friendly people. She said the people at Hutch's can be rowdy, but they aren't violent. She comes alone to the place every other week to play pool and always feels safe. Walter said it's a matter of the general atmosphere. He doesn't like big bars, but prefers a place where you can get to know people. They both liked the fact that there was a consistent crowd at Hutch's. They said we'd just missed Tom, the owner, a man who knows his customers. As for what makes for a good church, Jeanie said, "No priest, no minister, no pastor." She described herself as a "recovering Catholic." She said they were married in a Swedenborgian church in Wilmington, The Church of the Holy City, about which they were quite enthusiastic.

Mindy talked with Kaitlyn, our bartender. She's been working at Hutch's for nine months, and when Mindy asked what made a good bar,  Kaitlyn said good drinks and friendly people. "We call this a Cheers bar. Everyone knows everybody's name. I love my little Cheers bar." As for what makes for a good church, she said, "I really feel I've got to go with friendly people again."

Mindy talked to another woman, Marty, who wasn't there to play pool. She said that in a bar she looks for "a good drink with decent people; it has to be safe."  When asked about a good church, she told Mindy about her own church as well as a few other historic churches in the area. She's a member of Christiana Presbyterian Church, which she described as being a community base. "It's not a big church" she said, "but it's been around since the Revolution." She talked about the church's mission trips, women's groups, and VBS. "We're a regular mainline Presbyterian Church."

I asked one other patron, Dave, our two questions. He said he's been coming to this bar for 8 to 10 years. He values people in a bar; the staff and the customers. He likes being at a place where the people are "genuine" and won't stay if they aren't. The staff needs to be attentive to the needs of the customers. Like everyone I spoke to, he was highly complementary of Kaitlyn. (As we were talking, she was standing nearby and said, "You better say good things about me, I'm serving you drinks.") Dave does go to church (The Love of Christ Church), and he values a pastor who relates to people. If the pastor in his sermons "hits home," it's a good church, Dave said.

Before leaving, we needed to watch Jeanie finish her game. She sunk the nine ball, winning her game. We congratulated her and said goodbye to folks, including the people smoking outside who we'd met inside. We were glad we went to Hutch's. It's a place for a good game of pool and it has a good pool of people.