More Fictional Bars We'd Love to Walk into

TV Talk Machine Meet Up

It's Another List!

This week, we’re listing a few more fictional bars we’d like to visit, this time from TV shows. In our last post of 2016, we talked about TV bars with real live bar patrons, but not all of our favorite bars were mentioned. So here’s our top ten* (followed by an addendum of some bars we left off.)

Lincoln behind, Washington before

10) Founding Fathers (from Bones)

In Washington D.C., you have to go some place that acknowledges the history of the location. We went to a place called Church and State. On this crime procedural, forensic scientist Temperance “Bones” Brennan and FBI agent Seeley Booth celebrate solving a case with a drink at Founding Fathers. It’s fun to be in a place of celebration.

9) Moe’s Tavern (from The Simpsons)

Some might consider Moe’s a sad place to hang out with sad sack owner, Moe, and loser patrons, Homer, Carl, Lenny, and Barney. Concern about whether this place keeps track of the health codes is legitimate. But sometimes, the fun in bars is people watching, and it would be great to listen to and watch Homer in real life. Better than that… drunk Homer.

Safer than the Bronze

8) The Bronze (from Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Sure, you wouldn’t want to be there on a night when vampires or demons or werewolves were attacking (which would seem to be most nights), but they do have great musical entertainment such as Dashboard Prophets and Aimee Mann and new acts like Dingoes Ate My Baby, and there seems to be no cover charge. As long as there wasn’t blood in the drinks, a good time could be had by all.

7) Rosie’s Bar (from M*A*S*H)

I wouldn’t care to be on the front during the Korean War (or Korean “Police Action”), but if I were there, I’d want to be at Rosie’s. Rosie herself can be a bit cantankerous, but she wants to keep her patrons happy. And the other patrons would surely be amusing. (I’d rather be there when I could hang with Trapper John and Henry along with Hawkeye.)

6) The Tropicana (from I Love Lucy)

Sure, this is more of a nightclub than a bar, but it does seem like the entertainment would be good, drawing in the top acts of the day. You might get to see Martin and Lewis live there. You’d surely hear Ricky Ricardo’s orchestra and Ricky himself. But you might also hear Lucy Ricardo sing, which has the same amusement quality as bad karaoke.  

Potential customers for Rowlf's

5) Rowlf’s Tavern (from The Muppet Show)

Talk about fine entertainment, no one tickles the keyboard like Rowlf the dog. He’s also a great listener for patrons who are feeling blue (or green, for that matter). As for the bar food, they say he serves the best kibble in town.

4) Ten Forward (from Star Trek:The Next Generation)

Guinan (Whoopi Goldberg) was almost as a good a listener as Rowlf. The best liquor is offered, from Saurian Brandy to Vulcan Port to Klingon Bloodwine, and you aren’t limited to people watching, you can watch (and talk with) all kinds of species.

Real Dodge City bars were less real than Gunsmoke bars

3) Long Branch Saloon (from Gunsmoke)

There’s something to be said for longevity, and this bar lasted longer than any bar other than Moe’s (perhaps longer if you include the radio years).  The owner and proprietor, Kitty, is a gracious hostess; with Matt Dillon around, the security is superior to most establishments in the Old West. And there is nothing cooler than pushing open those swinging doors.

2) Cozy’s Bar (from Parks and Recreation) - Sure, you’d have to go to Eagleton which is anathema to many residents of Pawnee, Indiana, but they have great entertainment. You can hear the jazz styling of saxophonist Duke Silver. It’s a classy place where cougars thrive.

1)  The Brick Tavern (from Northern Exposure) - There’s nothing like a friendly, small town bar, and this one’s also a refuge from the long Alaskan nights. Shelly’s a friendly bartender, and Holling is a good cook. Citizens of Cicely always have good stories to tell, and even back in the ‘90’s I don’t remember people smoking in this bar.

Real Paddy's in Philly

(Other bars considered: The Gem from Deadwood was too dangerous, the management of Quark’s from Deep Space Nine is not to be trusted, the hipsters at The Griffin on New Girl have gotten annoying, there were too many racist remarks for comfort at Archie Bunker’s Place, and Paddy’s on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is fun to watch on the small screen but a visit would probably end in disaster -- although we enjoyed our visit to the bar that claims to be the inspiration for it)

Cheers in Boston is more of a gift shop

*You’ll notice Cheers isn’t on the list; that’s because it transcends any list we might make. The bar gets mentioned at almost every bar we visit, and we did see it when we were in Boston, though we didn’t officially visit that delightful location. We’d love to hang with Cliff, Frasier and NORM!!!